I am not happy. I am not sad.

Emotions are temporary, thoughts are fleeting, and beliefs change.

Her palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms heavy.

They call her name, and it becomes real. It’s time to go.

Fear shrinks her world and, with her head down, she trudges through the thick mud of panicky dread.

I take her, pin her to my chest, and wait for the nurse to make the injection. Her voice is pain and fear and frustration. The needle goes in; the needle goes out. The room relaxes.

She was scared, and she was in pain, but now she is not scared and she is not in pain. So, she is not her fear and pain. And you are not what you experience.

That’s right. I’m not just talking about what has happened to you. I’m talking about what you feel and what you think.

I am not scared. I feel scared, but the deepest, truest me is not.

Emotions are temporary, thoughts are fleeting, and beliefs change.

It’s second nature to identify ourselves this way. But, as we let go of this habit, an empty space takes shape and forms the place where rest, peace, and authentic spirituality begin.

I spend most of my time defining my days, myself, and my life by what I think and by how I feel. But, sometimes, when I allow myself to, I find my way to this new, empty space where I just am and, in the cosmic quiet of that space, a door opens and, upon entering, I discover that… I am loved and that is all I am.

The difficulty here is not necessarily in finding the real you. I’m not sure how fruitful a journey that will be. The real important, gruelling task will be to recognize all the things that are not precisely and ultimately you and to let them drift away, finding your way to that quiet, empty space where, maybe, a door will open for you.

Hi, I’m Michael. Thanks for reading this article! It represents day 3 of my current 30-day writing project. If you enjoyed it, you may also like to read this article I wrote: “Imposter Syndrome Is Not What You Think”.

Written by

Writing to inspire a world of empathy, possibility, and growth. Former faith leader; current MBA candidate. 👋 Say hi mtouchton@gmail.com

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